i don't understand how Tank knows. it's like he smells the chemical shift happening before i even register it. he just presses up against me, that heavy pittie sigh, the way he makes himself dead weight until i settle down whether i want to or not. that's love, i guess; some instinct deeper than i have access to. and then i get annoyed because i haven't even had a good hour before the crash starts but then i feel guilty because he's just trying to help and i’m angry at him for things i did to myself.