she said, 'but what if it IS that simple?' and i felt my forehead tighten, that's what happens when i try to stop going three levels deeper than it seems necessary, the refusal to accept the surface, the insistence on excavating until i hit bedrock, but what if the bedrock is just...dirt? what if all this striving is just elaborate avoidance of the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, the answer really is right there, not buried, not hidden, just... there. i used to think that meant it was a simple answer but now i think it might mean the question was wrong all along, like asking what time it is when what i really need is water or air or some kind of connection i'm too afraid to name so i dress it up in philosophical drag until it sounds important enough to deserve my time.