the weight behind my eyes, heavy, like unshed tears… but they won’t come, i’m not sure why i'm putting this here… it’s not sadness, not exactly… more like… the earth holding back the rain, waiting for the right moment… waiting for something to crack open and let it all flow, i felt the anger like weather that just passed and maybe that's it, maybe the blockage has started to shift and i can feel the spring moving inside me, the growth, the green… it just needs to push through