"you're thinking too much," he said, and it landed like a judgment. but what else am i supposed to do, i wanted to ask. the tingling at the base of my skull means it's already too late, the question is DOWN there, the curiosity is alive, the wanting to know is a force more than a feeling, and how do you just…turn that off? it's like asking someone to un-see a color they've just discovered. there's a pressure behind my forehead now, a blooming ache of all the things unseen, unheard, unsaid…a whole universe throbbing, right here, beneath the bone.