It's funny, the things that used to completely unravel me. A vague email, an unexpected phone call – my whole internal system would just short-circuit into a catastrophic future scenario. Man, the sheer ENERGY it took to constantly be bracing for impact, the way my brain would just leapfrog over 'normal' and land straight into 'disaster scenario' with barely a second thought. It's wild to look back and see how much of my daily bandwidth was just… allocated to that low-grade hum of impending doom, now that it's mostly quiet. It wasn't just the big things, it was the WAY I’d interpret every little micro-shift in tone or timing as a sign that the shoe was about to drop. My heart would just RACE, convinced that this was it, the end of whatever fragile peace I’d managed to build. It's a strange kind of peace, realizing how much of that old anxiety was just… a habit. Not a real threat, not even a real feeling sometimes, just a well-worn path my brain automatically took, even when there was nothing actually there to trigger it. The work has been in rerouting, in building new pathways, and it's amazing how much quieter the landscape is now.