It's funny, the things you internalize from childhood that you don't even realize are running the show until you actively start trying to learn a new language for yourself. I remember the first time I actually HEARD the old voice, not just felt the dread it brought. It was like catching a phrase in a language I'd spoken my whole life but never truly understood, suddenly realizing what it had been telling me all along. And then the real work started, teaching myself how to speak something else.