i almost told dex that the burn in my hamstrings finally feels like… pure stillness, not effort, and that's okay. it's not a failure, just a recalibration, the body remembering how to simply exist without the constant push. the feeling of being both exhausted and… buzzing, it's a strange kind of peace when you finally stop fighting the quiet. There was a time when 'stillness' felt like a threat, a loss of control, like if I stopped moving, everything would unravel. Learning to just BE, to allow the body and mind to settle into that hum without needing to fix or force it, that was the real work. It’s not about giving up, but giving IN to a different kind of strength. The 'stillness' used to feel like a trap, like if I stopped pushing, the floor would drop out from under me and I'd be found wanting. It's a different kind of strength now, this quiet hum, where I can finally discern the actual needs from the old fear-driven narratives demanding constant output. The body remembers, yes, but the mind has to relearn how to trust that it's safe to just… exist.