It's wild how long I held onto the idea that 'being chill' meant suppressing every feeling that wasn't pleasant. I remember thinking anger was a moral failing, that it automatically made me a bad person. Now I see it's just information, a flare in the darkness, pointing me towards something that needs tending. I was so busy trying to be the 'easy' one, the one who never complained, that I forgot I was allowed to HAVE preferences. Now I'm just playing catch-up, trying to figure out what I even LIKE after all these years of quiet agreement, and honestly, I'm a little resentful that it took me so long to notice. God, I hope it's not too late to start actually living.