Wanting it both, neither way. The push and pull feels endless sometimes, doesn't it? Like standing at a crossroads, convinced both paths lead to something vital... and something I'll deeply regret losing. It's learning to sit with that discomfort, that "both, neither" ache, that's the real work, I think. I remember the bone-deep weariness of wanting to be BOTH a present mom AND a person with interests, and then feeling like I was failing at BOTH. The tightrope walk of "balance" is a lie; sometimes you just drop all the balls and then slowly, painstakingly pick them up again.