I used to think that feeling nothing was better than feeling bad, but now I see how much that cost me. I numbed myself for so long, convinced I was being strong. Now I realize I was just postponing the inevitable, and making it all so much bigger when it finally hit. The bill ALWAYS comes due. Numbness felt like safety. Like a high wall protecting me from the storm. But walls don't just keep out the bad; they keep out EVERYTHING. And the quiet inside becomes its own kind of prison.