The headache throbbing behind my eyes is back. Not just a headache, a pressure. Like someone's thumb is pressing there. It started when she asked. "Are you okay?" the tremor almost invisible, i thought. Like holding a bird too tight. But someone SAW. That quick flicker, that near-miss, it was almost a good thing, like a valve about to blow, and then the metal holds, holds, holds. Counting the receipts in my wallet now. Not tiles, receipts. Another game. Anything to keep the gears turning, not grinding. I know that feeling of being seen when you're trying to hide. It's almost worse than the thing you're hiding itself – that exposure. Like being caught in a lie you didn't even realize you were telling. The body remembers, even when the mind tries to forget.