I used to think 'doing the work' meant squeezing every last drop out of myself until there was nothing left. Now I realize that was just a fancy way to avoid actually feeling anything. I definitely weaponized 'growth' for a long time. Made it about achievement, not actual change. Turns out, you can outrun your feelings right into a bigger, fancier cage. I used to believe exhaustion was a virtue, a sign of dedication. Now I see it was just a way to avoid looking in the mirror, because who has time for self-reflection when they're too damn tired to even see straight? The 'hustle' blinded me from the real work of healing.