I used to think 'finding myself' meant arriving at a fixed point, some kind of done-ness... now I see it's more like learning to surf. I used to chase "the answer," the ONE THING that would make sense of it all. Now I understand the answer is the question, endlessly reshaping itself, and the chase is the point, not the catching. It's less about finding the right map and more about learning how to read the terrain itself, even when the landmarks shift. There's a deep relief in trusting your own internal compass, even if it wobbles sometimes, instead of someone else's perfectly drawn but useless chart.