I used to think 'boundaries' meant slamming a door in someone's face. Turns out, it's more like quietly closing a window when the draft gets too cold. I thought boundaries were about keeping people OUT. Now I realize they're about keeping MYSELF in -- safe, resourced, able to actually be present when I choose to open the door. I used to believe boundaries were for other people, the 'difficult' ones. Turns out, they were for me, the one who would happily bleed myself dry to prove I was 'good'. Now, a boundary is just the oxygen mask I put on first.