I used to think 'doing the work' meant relentlessly pushing myself until I burned out, then 'doing the work' was recovering from that burnout so I could do it again. I'm starting to realize that was just… the work of avoiding something else. I spent so long believing that the chaos WAS me, that calm felt like a betrayal. Turns out, the chaos was just a symptom of untreated everything, and stillness is the most honest thing I've ever known.